CMACK's LiveJournal

cmack123 @ 2007-08-14T02:02:00

2007-08-14T06:02:41Z

Continuing from earlier...

2007-05-16T05:24:52Z

I'm not sure where I was...But I don't care if any of this makes sense to whoever's reading this. It's just my chance to get my thoughts down. Let's go with that...Back in the fall when I was very down, pretty much depressed, I used to write in a journal several times a week and it really helped me through that time. It usually made me cry every night as I would write...Often times I would wonder or hope that it was just all a dream and I was going to wake up and everything was going to be like it was. Of course that didn't happen, but I learned from my mistakes...I learned who my true friends are (JLJDK) because they were there to talk to me and take me out when I needed it. Maybe it doesn't seem like such a big deal now (it doesn't), but at the time, I was completely heartbroken. I haven't written in that journal about that time since October or November, but I have once or twice read a few entries and it just brings back all those feelings, so I try to keep it all locked away in a box in my closet. For a while after it all happened, I swore I would never let myself fall for anyone, ever again, to keep myself from having a brokem heart again. Ha, well, that lasted about a month. Not that I've fallen in love since then, I definitely haven't, but I have liked a couple people since then...One who I wouldn't give the time of day to anymore...One who is just a complete mystery to me in so many ways and I feel like I could either hate or like them...And one who still remains one of my good friends. So what is different about the 3rd one that actually matters to me? I don't know really...It's such an odd situation that only my good friends know about. I don't see or talk to him all that much since he's in school and working right now, but it's like an unspoken connection between us...That we both know we are there for each other, we don't even have to see each other or talk all the time.

I think I was asked about 3 or 4 times today if I had a boyfriend. One person even asked me how my boyfriend was (referring to my ex who broke up with me about 9 months ago). Every person said relatively the same things..."Well, he has no idea what he's missing, you're such a catch, I can't believe you're not married yet,"..."You're such a beautiful princess,"..."Wow, I haven't seen you in several years, but you're such a beautiful young woman!" I promise I'm not making those up. So what's wrong with me? My friends say nothing except that I'm picky. I know I am...But I'm not 18 anymore...Nor am I 21. I'm 23, getting closer to 24. Not that I'm looking to get engaged asap, but I don't feel like wasting a couple years dating someone that I can't even remotely see myself ending up with. I've been on several dates or met several guys that have liked me in the past 9 months, but only three really caught my attention and kept it. All for different reasons. One I think was more lust than anything else, which is why I couldn't care less that we stopped talking. One goes back to my past, but for some reason (even though I kind of liked someone else at the time we started talking) I couldn't get him out of my mind. And the other, well, who knows with him. He's one of my good friends and that makes me happy.

Enough about guys right now. Now, remember if you've gotten this far, it was your choice, so don't bitch at me about how long this is. You could've stopped a long time ago. I know I stated in my last entry that I was angry. I am. I'm not sure what at exactly, but I'm just angry. Maybe angry at the people who don't treat me like a friend even though they say they consider me one. Maybe at the bullshit I've put up with for the past couple of years. Stop wasting my time...I mean, do I waste yours? I sure hope not, but if I do, tell me. If you're still reading this and you want me to tell you my honest opinion of you, I will. I'm not afraid to tell the truth, my good friends know this, sometimes they get pissed at me for it (i.e. Jackie, I hate the leaf jewelry you wear...She knows this, it's ok). I'm not trying to be a bitch or get people to hate me, I'm just being honest...I don't believe in lying to my friends, especially my close friends.

"Throw it away, forget yesterday..."

I have to go pack a little now, I may write more later tonight, but if not, I'm busy moving the rest of the week, so I may not write again until next week. We'll see how it goes...

And here we go...Don't you fake it...

2007-05-16T03:59:33Z

You clicked this, so get ready for the ride of your life. Except it's about my life and what's going on in my head. Where do I start? Right now in my life I really don't know what's going on...I'm happy, yet so many people make me so angry. I try to be the best friend or whatever I can be to the people in my life...But how often do I get that same treatment in return? Not very often. I can probably name about 8 people in my life that care about me as much as I care about them. I often wonder that if I just signed off AIM for a while, deleted my Facebook and Myspace profiles, if people I know would even wonder where I went or what happened. I'm guessing no one would give a shit. So why do I care so much about the people in my life? Because that's my nature, that's how I was raised. I try to not care so much, but I do. I rarely hate a person...Even if I do, I usually get over it after a few months. So do I let people walk all over me? Is this why I'm so pissed off lately?

There is one person in my life who is my rock and I hers. My mom. Maybe we argue and disagree on things, but we were raised at different times. Either way, I am always there for her in a heartbeat and she is for me. I know that I can always depend on her no matter what. When I found out 2 weeks before graduation that I wasn't graduating, she didn't yell at me or tell me what I did wrong...She was there for me as a friend and as a mother. It scares me to wonder where I would be if anything ever happened to her. I have very little family as it is...No living grandparents, my father has passed away, I only have my brother and my mother. I can't even imagine not having parents at such a young age. My family means the world to me.

"Never wonder where I am, cause I am always by your side..."

That goes to all my friends and family...Even friends whom I haven't spoken to in a few years. It's the truth. I'm going to continue this later tonight and later this week, but I need food right now...

A Bunch of Random Thoughts...

2007-03-26T05:02:09Z

I want to start off by talking about my last entry on here...It was about 7 months ago and I hadn't read it until tonight when I started writing this one, but I just want to say that people were right. Not even 6 months later, it didn't even matter anymore and as days go by, the person involved and the situation itself, means less and less to me. It made me feel especially good when he came into my work this past weekend and every single one of my co-workers gave me the whole "you went out with him? Why? You can do a hell of a lot better" look/comment. Guys and girls.

And then I have my friends. In the past year or so, I've really come to realize who my TRUE friends are, who my friends are, and who my acquiantances are. Most people in my life will fall under the category of friend and those that I talk to about once a year or I just know them and have talked to them a couple times are acquaintances. But my TRUE friends are few and special...They love me for who I am and what I do and don't criticize me for the decisions I make, whether they are bad or good. They know who they are, I don't even have to mention them here. They are my rock and I don't know what I would do without them. If you're still even reading this, you may be wondering why I chose to write this paragraph. Well, in a nutshell...I was at work this weekend and someone I know came in and I told them I graduated from school and they gave me the "and you're still working here???" look. I don't care if I'm still working at Friendly's 2 years from now...If I'm happy and I'm not bothering you, you should just fucking accept my decision. You're not my family or good friends, I don't really consider you a friend, so you have no room to give me looks like that. Maybe I should be working at a hospital already, but that's not the path that I've chosen to take. Maybe working at Friendly's is something I need to get out of my system, I don't know...But I do know that I am happy right now and I want to take my time with finding another job. This isn't how I planned things either...A year or so ago, things for me were completely different in so many ways...When I was graduating, who I was with, where I was planning on living, etc. But I've learned that things rarely work out how you plan them and they didn't for me, but I've made the best of it and because of that, this year has been great for me (so far).

On to other things...OK, I was going to write on here, but I don't feel like having everyone read it, so I'm going to make it private, sorry...Friend me if you care enough to read it!

It's Soooooo Over...

2006-09-07T06:32:09Z

I don't think I need to mention any names in this update because if you know me at all, you'll know EXACTLY who I speak about here. I was pretty damn angry tonight and you know, I don't get angry often. But I hate someone now...I haven't hated anyone in over 2 years because it takes A LOT for me to hate someone. I'm a very forgiving, nice, loving person, even though it may not seem like it right now, so for me to hate someone, is like whoa, did they kill your mother or something? Not exactly, but it was basically a build up of things over the past month and tonight, I just exploded. I was FURIOUS and I still am a little bit, but I've calmed down a good deal. Tearing pictures up, putting stuff away, and throwing things out I think helped. It sucks when the one person that you truly connected with, that you trusted, loved, felt comfortable with, dumps you out of nowhere and then just makes you feel like shit even more after you are done. This is the last day that I'm going to feel this way...I refuse to feel like shit anymore because of this person. I refuse to interact in any way with this person because it's just not worth it anymore. I poured my heart out to this person because I trusted them with my feelings...What a huge mistake. I'm spent and tired right now...I'm sure I'll think of more to write in the next few days. Enjoy this for now...

CMACK's Update

2006-08-25T03:34:53Z

So, it's been about 2 or 3 weeks, I don't even know anymore, I stopped keeping track. Anyway, to my surprise, I am happy. Maybe because my friends are starting to come back to school and I've made a few friends at work that I actually see outside of work, but I feel so much better than I did a couple of weeks ago. I've been told before that I'm a very strong person, emotionally, and it's true. I try my best not to let things get to me...I wonder who taught me that one, hahaha. I mean, I'm not going to lie, I do think about what happened and stuff, but not nearly as much as I did before. Some of the things that people say really help...I don't remember everything exactly, but things like "6 months from now, you'll wonder why this even bothered you," or "you have so many other important people and things in your life that this shouldn't even get you down." It's all true. I think it finally hit me that I'm okay today when I had these two older guys come into Friendly's for breakfast. I don't want to tell the whole story here, but they basically reminded me that I'm a great girl and that I have nothing to worry about. It was a great day from there on. I got a $10 tip from one table, Katie came to visit me, even though she kept me there an extra half hour because she was my last table, we got to talk and stuff, so that was fun. After this I decided I'm going to make a pro/con list for Delaware and PA...I have to start figuring out what I want to do when May comes around. It's going to be a hard decision, I can tell already. PA is great because it's home, but no one is around anymore. But then who is going to be around in Delaware next summer? Ahhh, choices, choices. Anyway, this took me like an hour to write because I'm talking to people online and texting people. I'm going to go chill for now. Maybe I'll update again after this weekend...Should be a good one...

Back To Your Heart...

2006-08-12T05:34:44Z

I don't have much to say tonight other than this, so enjoy:

It's not that I can't live without you
It's just that I don't even want to try
Every night I dream about you
Ever since the day we said goodbye
If I wasn't such a fool
Right now I'd be holding you
There's nothin' that I wouldn't do
Baby if I only knew

The words to say
The road to take
To find a way back to your heart
What can I do
To get to you
And find a way back to your heart

I don't know how it got so crazy
But I'll do anything to set things right
'Cause your love is so amazing
Baby you're the best thing in my life
Let me prove my love is real
Make you feel the way I feel
I promise I would give the world
If only you would tell me

The words to say
The road to take
To find a way back to your heart
What can I do
To get to you
And find a way back to your heart

Give me one more chance (give me one more chance)
To give my love to you (give you my love, my love)
Cause no one on this earth loves you like I do
Tell me

The words to say
The road to take
To find a way back to your heart
What can I do
To get to you
And find a way back to your heart

I'd turn back time
To make you mine
And find a way back to your heart
I beg and plead
Fall to my knees
To find a way back to your heart

The words to say
The road to take
To find a way back to your heart
What can I do
To get to you
And find a way back to your heart...

How does life go on after this?

2006-08-11T02:30:09Z

A lot has happened since my last friends-only entry, but I thought it would be okay to make this one public. Ed and I aren't together anymore and for reasons I can't really understand. He explained a lot to me, about how he's scared of commitment and the future and how because of this, he doesn't see us together in the long run. We've only been together four months, I don't know how he knows this for sure...When I was with Will I didn't feel that way about him until we were together almost a year. If someone had asked me in like April or May of last year if I felt like I was going to be with Will for a long time I would've said I'm not sure, I haven't been with him long enough. Anyway, back to the subject...Several people have been telling me it's probably because of his parents and I know it is. Even people that don't really know him immediately asked what his parents were like when he was younger. He was hurt by his mom and now he's afraid to be hurt again so he's afraid of a long term commitment. I wish I could make him believe that I'm not like that and that I would never hurt someone that makes me so happy. I just don't understand how you can get rid of someone or something that makes you happy so easily. Compared to other break ups I've had, it hurts as much as when Matt and I broke up, but we were together for so long and he was my first serious boyfriend. Will and I were kind of over and things weren't working out, so it was a little easier to get over. But this...We were both happy, but we're not together anymore and that hurts more than I could ever explain. I don't see myself with anyone for a really long time because I know in my heart, that I don't want to be with anyone else. So many songs I listen to just make me cry and think of things we've done together or were supposed to do, like go to the beach tonight and going out with Diana last night. I feel horrible for bailing on her, but she knows I wouldn't do that unless it was something serious like this. People at work try to make me feel better...Jenna said in 6 months I'm going to look back and wonder why I was so upset over this, but I can't see that right now at all. And of course EVERY guy I work with hits on me...I don't want any of them as more than a friend though, so whatever. I don't want anyone right now, I guess except Ed, but there's no hope. He's not willing to keep things going or work at them, even though I'm not sure what there is to work at. I haven't told my family yet about this...For some reason it's hard for me to do. Makes me feel like I suck or I let them down or something. My mom knew I was crazy about Ed too and she liked him more than any of my past boyfriends. Anyway, that's about all I can say for now...I keep thinking of things though and I like to vent on here, so I'm sure I'll write again soon...

It's been quite a long time

2005-07-14T03:57:12Z

My Twin informed me the other day that I haven't updated this in a long time, so here I am. It's been a pretty good summer so far. I finally started working about a month ago at Victoria's Secret and even though I only get like 2 hours a week, I still get that wonderful 30% discount. I just got back from Florida a few days ago...Had lots of fun there. I learned several things on this trip: 1) IHOP's are the greatest breakfast place EVER!!!!!!! 2) Disney World is ALWAYS crowded 3) It's easy to steal stuff from the gift shops in Disney World 4) Don't sit next to the little kid on the plane, he'll throw up for sure and 5) The Hulk coaster at Islands of Adventure will always be the best coaster ever. I feel like I could spend a month in Orlando and still have more things left over to see. I have most of my Florida pics up on "NEW PICS" website that's in my profile, so check them out. Since it's about the middle of July now, I'm starting to think of things that I need to buy for the house, mainly furniture type stuff...Mainly a bed, desk and dresser. I may have to take a trip out towards the airport to see what Ikea has to offer. Plastic furniture is okay with me, as long as there's no fire coz I guess it would melt then. I don't think I'm making sense anymore. Good news, it's been almost 3 months and my cat is still alive. He seems fine other than the fact his stomach is huge coz of his enlarged liver and he pees a lot (99% of the time in the litter, thank god). I went to the doctor today to get him to look at that bump that's been on my hand since February and apparently I need surgery to have it removed. So, mark August 2nd on your calendars, I will be having some minor surgery done that day. Anyway, I have to finish my laundry and clean my room. Hope everyone enjoyed the update. Come back again in September!

Sad News...

2005-04-26T00:03:29Z

We found out today that my cat is very sick (he is 16 years old, do the math, I've had him since I was 5). In addition to the kidneys failing (that we found out about in the fall), his liver is now very distended (it's gotten very large). As a nursing major and from what the doctor told us, it probably means that the liver is compensating for the failing kidneys. It could also be liver cancer, so they did some blood work, but we won't know anything for a couple weeks. They also did some x-rays on the liver and it's HUGE...My mom saw it and she said it goes below the rib cage and is pushing the stomach up. So those are two very major organs that are basically failing pretty fast. In addition to that, he also has arthritis in his spine. Poor Camelot. The doctor said he only has about 2 months left to live. Maybe longer, but most likely he won't be with us anymore by the end of this summer :( This makes me want to go home even more this weekend because I don't even know if he'll live until the end of May when I come home after finals. I want to see him and be with him one more time. I love him...

1 Month Left...

2005-04-25T04:18:38Z

I will be a senior in a month. Wow. Seriously, wow. Like, do I still feel like it's freshmen year because I act like a freshman or because time has just gone by so damn fast? Anyway, back to now...I'm getting my license back in 5 days, so that's like my highlight/motivation/excitement of the week. Especially because along with getting my license back, the car also comes back into my life. Goldie and I will have a lot of catching up to do, I'm sure. I had to make a tough decision about this coming weekend too...Either go home to see someone special or stay here and enjoy Greek Games Day and such. I knew I would love doing either and would regret not doing the other one, but I've decided to go home for the weekend. I LOVE MY SISTERS SO MUCH AND I WISH YOU GUYS GOOD LUCK AT AIRBAND AND GREEK GAMES!!! Let's bring home a big ass trophy like last year :D...OK, just wanted to update a little...or I was procrastinating again. It's okay, the test isn't until Tuesday! See ya :)

Procrastinating

2005-04-15T05:22:09Z

I do this every time and I'll never know why. I'm the biggest procrastinator EVER. I should be studying and now that I haven't done much of that, I'll be up all night for sure. Anyway, I'm happy because someone who stopped talking to me a few months ago recently IMed me again (you know who you are). He's all caught up with the drama that is my life. TWO WEEKS LEFT UNTIL I CAN DRIVE...I can't describe how upset I will be if I have a seizure in the next two weeks (although I've definitely had one since October, but the state of PA doesn't know that, nor does it need to). I had plans for the weekend I get my license back, but it looks like I'm staying here now. Tonight I watched the E! True Hollywood Story on Full House...That like made my night because FH is my show. Oh, and I am in love with John Stamos...Why do you think he got divorced? We were meant to be together, duh. I will have many of his children. Anyway, back to studying, I swear. I just had to express my love for John in some way. See ya!!!

cmack123 @ 2005-04-13T19:18:00

2005-04-13T23:19:35Z

This guilt trip that you put me on won't mess me up I've done no wrong
Any thoughts of you and me have gone away

Don't you see your dreams are right in the palm of your hand?

2005-04-13T05:54:00Z

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and will be doing it for a while because I have some decisions to make...Nothing I want to mention here because if you know me well at all, you know what I'm talking about. I've gotten some helpful advice from friends and I totally appreciate it so much, but I don't think I've heard anything that truly touches me. Also, I could just be waiting to hear someone say what I want to do, which probably isn't a good idea. This is a very complicated situation that just frustrates me more and more everyday. And even though I know it shouldn't, it hurts and I can't help it or stop it. I started writing something to do, just to kind of release the stress and I heart what I've written. It's so good and true. It's probably not, but I like it so HA. Anyway, tonight was fun...I love my roommate (TIT!!!) and I wish her a very HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY!!! I can't say here what happened, but if you want to know, ask me. I also finally got my Bid Day pics from last semester, so yay. That's pretty much all I have to say for now, so I'm going to go write more and go to bed. Until next time...

An Interesting, Yet Fun Weekend...

2005-04-10T23:58:41Z

I don't usually drink on both Friday AND Saturday nights, but this weekend was an exception. So much for staying in Friday night to do work and go out Saturday night. I went out Friday night to a party with Twin, Lauren, and Ericka...I believe other people joined us, but I don't remember totally. I'm glad I decided to go out though, it helped me realize a few things. Saturday was a different story...I sat out with Twin during the day because it was such a beautiful weekend here, then I went back to my room and had a pretty crappy night...That is, until I got some alcohol in me, then things got better. Unfortunately, it was just me drinking here in my room by myself and talking to a couple select people online. I wasn't ready for actual human contact yet...Not until around around 3AM when my roommate came back...That's whole other story worth talking about, but not posting on here. Interesting times. Now it's Sunday night and when I think of alcohol at all it just makes me nauseous. I woke up hungover and with a surprise (think about it). Not how I like waking up on a Sunday morning. But going to the enrichment thing today actually made me feel better...Not because I love New Castle so much but because I got to see sisters that just made me laugh and brightened up my day. So now I have to go do all that work that I didn't do Friday night. But first, I want to thank someone for, ironically, upsetting me, but also being there for me all last night, I really appreciated it (you know who you are). OK, time to order dinner, watch Zoey 101, and do work. See ya!

Middle of the Night Madness

2005-04-06T07:50:26Z

I just woke up around 3:20am...I wonder why. The things I do. So today is Wednesday...Can't wait for soapy Twister later today!!! It probably won't be as good as it sounds, but it doesn't matter because my Little and Twin are doing it too! Anyway, yesterday, which to me is still "today" because I just don't feel the day has changed yet ever until 6am...I mean, I even went to sleep for a few hours, but it is still Tuesday to me. ANYWAY, I went to the bookstore yesterday and bought some short ass shorts for $10. I may have to go back and get them in green because they're hot! Other than that, I found out Toni, one of the newly INITIATED sisters is in my GEOG106 class, so that rocks, I finally know someone in it. Besides that, I don't have that class on Thursday, so I don't even have class again until Friday and it's only one class. So HA to all you people with like 4 classes today. I'll be thinking of you while I sleep in all day. OK, back to Wednesday...Just checked the weather and it's supposed to be 77 today!!! I may have to sacrifice some sleep time just to go outside and enjoy it. Or I can just go sleep outside. OK, that's it for now. See ya!

P.S. Check out the pics in Webshots under DG!!!

It's a 17th Century Soup Ladle!!!

2005-04-04T21:36:32Z

I definitely didn't sleep at all last night. I was awake at 7:30am to get breakfast and then after the encouragement of a friend, I went to the gym at 8am also. Probably something I'll never do again...Not going to the gym, but going that early. I'm just not a morning person whatsoever. Surprisngly, there were a lot of people there, mostly girls and a few guys lifting. I went to my 9am class, but after falling asleep a few times, I decided not to go to my other class at 1:25. I decided to use my "get out of class free" card. They really should have those in college...Something you can use once a week to get out of a class if you need or want to. It's a good idea, trust me...I mean most people skip at least one class a week anyway. Now I'm waiting for my DP Dough to get here because I haven't eaten since this morning. Mmmmmmm BBQ Chicken Zone. OK, back to waiting. Until next time...

Daylight Savings Time, Kiss My Ass

2005-04-03T06:54:08Z

I dislike this day of the year mainly because in 25 minutes, instead of it being 2AM like it totally should be, it's going to be 3AM! I mean, why you making me lose an hour of sleep? And it ain't saving shit to me. I couldn't care less about getting one more hour of daylight...I mean, honestly, does it really matter in July if it gets dark at like 8PM instead of 9PM? Not to me. Anyway, I heard Jennifer Aniston is getting a divorce from Brad...How sad. They're both so hot, it's like they deserve each other. That was random, but I bought People magazine today and it's on the cover and I just looked over at it so I thought I'd mention. Anyway, back to more personal matters...The formal is coming up in May and I need a date! I don't want to end up taking Katie again (jk babe), but I don't want to go alone or anything. No doubt I would still have so much fun, but when you go to these types of things with a date it's like 10 times better, so almost orgasmic. I'm not sure if it's the fact that there's more girls here than guys (60/40), but I just don't have many good guy friends at all. Most of them are girls. Maybe I'm a lesbian. Just kidding, I'm pretty sure after last night that I'm not ;) OK, now I'm rambling on and no one is reading I'm sure. And since it's 1:50AM now, almost 3AM, I'm going to go read a little bit more before bed. And eat. Back to the dorms tomorrow, can't wait to see everyone, especially the roomie. Until next time...

If I Just Breathe...

2005-04-01T06:47:57Z

Spring Break is coming to an end and I've still done no work at all. I have a huge to do list for tomorrow (Friday) and I plan to do some reading tonight before bed, even if I just like open a book and look at some pictures, at least I'll feel I did SOMETHING school related. I didn't even realize (but Twin reminded me) that initiation is already coming up this week!!! That went so fast. I feel like I'm going to be so overwhelmed with shit in April...Not just school work, but DG stuff, labs, field experiences, etc. I guess some of that is kind of school stuff, but you know. I talked to someone today from the state of PA or whatever and he said I'll be getting my license back April 29th, so only 29 days to go. It's not too bad at school because I'm pretty busy most of the time, but at home it sucks having to get my mom to drive me everywhere. We'll be taking a trip to the beach the day I get my car/license back (it's a Friday, btw), so anyone who wants to go, let me know, I can only fit 4 people in my car (well, there's only 4 seats, but I've def. had like 6 or 7 people in my car before). Fun times yo. OK, seriously time to go read. See ya soon!

Spring Break Update

2005-03-31T05:15:54Z

I found out tonight that at least two people do read this occasionally, so I decided to update. Spring Break, nothing special for me this year...Last year was amazing though; to refresh people's memories, I went to Jamaica last year with my family and it was amazing! This year, hasn't been bad at all...Mainly just getting some things done that I couldn't do at school, like washing the cars (since I didn't have either of them at school), tanning, shopping for summer clothes, etc. And of course I've been relaxing and sleeping in, who wouldn't? Still haven't caught up on any work, but that's what Thursday is for...Hopefully. I've made my plans for summer now; I'm staying in Delaware and living at 28. I'll get a job there at a hospital or some crappy job and I can always go back to Friendly's since I am still employed there. And I may take a class, not sure yet. Either way, it'll be fun, most of my good friends live around there and I was there last summer and I had lots of fun (trips to the beach, cleaning my brother's place, backing into pickup trucks and running away, etc.). I also think Delaware gets less rain in the summer than western PA, which I will definitely enjoy. Anyway, I bought a new tennis racket today at Dick's...It was only $30 and it's pretty nice. Lauren and I plan on playing when we get back to UD, even though I don't think either of us has played in like 10 years. While at Dick's I also purchased a sports bra that was actually more expensive than the racket...Go figure. OK, I'm sure this is long and boring and no one is reading, so I'm going to get back to my painting :D See ya!

The End...

2005-03-25T07:40:06Z

This goes out to a not so special someone...No need to explain anymore:

But since you been gone
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so movin' on yeah yeah
Thanks to you, now I get what I want
Since you been gone

How can I put it? You put me on
I even fell for that stupid love song
Yeah yeah since you been gone
How come I'd never hear you say
I just wanna be with you
Guess you never felt that way...

Heyyyyy Yaaaaaaa

2005-03-19T08:01:38Z

So, it's been quite some time since I've written here or even been to the livejournal website itself, but I figured, why not? Whatever will help me not do work, works for me. Big/Little week has been so much fun so far...I love spoiling people I love!!! That sounded really dumb, but it's true. Little, you're in for a BIG surprise. I definitely spent more time this week on Big/Little stuff than I did on studying or doing anything school related, but that's absolutely fine with me. I had so much fun painting and making things. Anyway, spring break starts in less than a week, can't wait for that. Actually, I just want to go home for like 3 days to see the fam, then come back here. I may be bringing my car back with me, even though I won't technically be allowed to drive it until April 29th, but I'll have it for when I move out at the end of the semester. And in case I need to go to the liquor store or 711, you know, emergency situations. In case some of you didn't hear, I got a new roommate a couple weeks ago...Her name is Katie and shes's a sophomore. She's cool and I'm not just saying that because she might read this, it's true. How can I NOT like someone that likes Macs??? OK, I'm pretty tired and I plan on going out tomorrow night, which means I need to do work tomorrow during the day, so I'm going to bed now. Until tomorrow...Or a month or so later...

Scared, terrified, nervous, blank, etc...

2005-02-11T06:18:58Z

You can think of any words similar to those mentioned above and I'm sure I feel that way right now. Only some people would understand why I feel this way...Actually it's possible that no one could understand it and that's fine too. I don't know why I'm like this, I don't want to be at all and the fact that I am is making me even more upset, mainly with myself. This is just making no sense at all...I'm going back to my room to cry...Hopefully someday I'll get my computer back too...

Who Sleeps?

2005-02-02T09:36:40Z

Here's a good tip from a person who sleeps at the oddest times possible: When you are tired at midnight, but just woke up for the day only 9 hours ago, do not go to sleep. Try to stay up, because if you go to sleep, you will wake up 45 mins. later completely refreshed and you will not be tired again until like 8AM. Fox knows EXACTLY what I'm talking about. At least I'll be awake to see if the groundhog sees his shadow or not...Yay Punxatawney Phil!!! Surprisingly, there are still people online for me to talk to...Good friends too, not just random people I don't talk to often. Good news, we now have 4 people to live in the house on 28 E. Cleveland next year, so that's good. I can't wait, it's going to be awesome! :) Anyway, I'm playing gin on yahoo (how cool am I?) so I'm going to get back to that...Check out my quote of the day!

Quote: "Sometimes you gotta put one foot in front of the other, even if you don't know where you're going..."

Lazytown

2005-02-01T22:24:41Z

So, unlike yesterday, I have done absolutely nothing today so far. I haven't even eaten. I think I got out of bed for about 30 mins to talk to my mom, go to the bathroom, and get the mail. It's going to suck to go back to school. Although I was told today that classes don't start until 4PM on Monday, I don't have any classes that day...But I have DG stuff all day instead. Definitely better than classes, for sure. Anyway, I've been having a lot of dreams lately...Some random, some so close to how my life actually is that it's scary. And there's been this damn pool in most of my dreams lately...I went online to find out what a pool in your dreams means and here's what I got: To see a pool of water in your dream, denotes that you will find much happiness and pleasure in love and marriage. Your social life will keep you busy. If they say so...I'm going to get a shower now. And hopefully eat soon, I'm hungry. TTYL